Thursday, July 25, 2013


Happy Friday! 

I have kind of a downer post for you today...sorry...

I thought about maybe writing this post and never publishing it, but then I figured that if I struggle with this, then maybe some of you struggle with it. 

So here it goes! 

Perfectionism...{shiver}...yup...that word. 

I know a lot of people probably say they are "perfectionists" like it's a personality trait. And a lot of people will say that being a perfectionist is a good thing. You care about detail, work super hard, and won't stop 'till it's right.  

Now don't get me's a great thing to want to try your best. 

But no...perfectionism is not a good thing. 

 I'm here to be honest....this is my blog where I share my thoughts, interests, and real life I'm going to be really honest.

I'm a perfectionist, and it's become somewhat debilitating.

Let me set you up with a perfect example...

A few nights ago Wendel and I had nothing to do so we were going to have a night to "get stuff done"

Wendel had some projects to work on, and I have loads of fun ideas that I've wanted to work on. 

Wendel goes downstairs to work on his projects, and I pretty much have a full blown panic attack. 

I won't get into all of the details, but let's just say that I have an incredibly loving husband who supports me when I'm down and encourages me to move forward. 

After a lot of talking, I realized something very prolific about myself. 

I have serious problems starting projects if I know they won't turn out perfectly. 

I can't even start them! 

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do a project, but because I know it won't turn out perfectly, I totally scrap it. 

Fashion posts have really helped with this though, because who are we kidding? When have we ever taken perfect pictures of ourselves. I am forced to look past the imperfections and hit publish. 

I'm a perfectionist about our house- if it's not perfectly clean at all times my skin is crawling. 

I'm a perfectionist about working out- if I miss one work out a week I feel like I've failed. 

I'm a perfectionist about my diet- if I eat one wrong thing I've totally failed. 

I'm a perfectionist about my work- if my lessons didn't go perfectly I am the worst teacher. 

I'm a perfectionist about my blog posts- if my pictures aren't perfect, and everything isn't just in it's perfect little place I won't publish it. 

I'm a perfectionist about being a wife- if I haven't planned fun dates, cooked amazing meals, and been a sexy, hot wife {yup...I went there}then I have totally let down Wendel. 

I'm a perfectionist about my appearance- you know the saying if you look good you feel good...yup...very very true for this girl

I'm even a perfectionist about my family- if there is one tiny problem going on with one of my siblings then I dwell on it until the problem is gone. 

Ya''s draining. 

And the last thing I want to do it pretend that I'm perfect on this blog. Ya'll our life is messy at times. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's messy. 

So now that ya'll know wayyy more than you ever wanted to know about me :) I'm here to make a proclamation...

I am not going to let perfectionism rule my life anymore...

Well I'm going to try...because I'm not perfect right :) 

I have to give myself a break and know that I am human. 

No clue at all how to achieve this...but I'm going to work on it! 

I really hope I'm not preaching to the choir, because I would hate it everyone struggled with this...but I hope that if you do, you will join me in striving for change. 

And with all of that...I'm going to go and start a project that I can imagine will not turn out as perfectly as I have in my head...I'll keep you posted :) 


  1. Thank you so much for your transparency in this Lelia! "Grace, not perfection" is a saying I should really stitch on a pillow and carry around with me all the time :-) I yearn to live a grace-filled life, but its hardest to extend grace to myself. So thankful that Jesus lived a perfect life so I don't have to! Just a day at a time!

    1. You couldn't have said it better! Our church just did a talk about how God is like a street fighter wanting to be tagged in and fight for us against Saint and all of his messiness. So this is me very much tagging in saying "I can't get this crap out of my head by has to come from You." Thanks for the encouragement!

    2. I like that illustration :-) I really have found that when I get up each day and give it to the Lord, it helps my entire perspective. My lists and systems have their place- as long as I'm controlling them and they're not controlling me! It's so wonderful to know that we can simply "be still and know that He is God" in the midst of our crazy lives!

      I love keeping up with you and Alex through your blog! I hope we will have the opportunity to hang out at some point soon! Praying for you, friend!

  2. I used to call myself a perfectionist, and thought the same things that you did. I tried to be a perfect wife, do everything right, look a certain way, and tried to be perfect in every other aspect of my life. It got bad enough to the point where I did feel like a failure all of the time because I could never achieve that perfection I was looking for. Turns out, it was anxiety/depression. All of what you described above described my anxiety perfectly. Just take care of yourself and if it gets bad enough you should go see someone about it. I did medication and counseling and am happy to say that helped get me on the right track. I just continue going to church, but no more meds and no more counseling. Try not to be too hard on yourself and be open to getting help if you think that's what you should do :)

    1. Thank you so much for the inspiration Nicole! I have a definite concern about anxiety and wonder if this is what I'm suffering with. Your story gives me inspiration and I so so appreciate that! Stay happy :)

  3. I can completely relate to this post! I have so many of these same thoughts and anxieties about work, being a wife, eating, and working out. Thanks so much for this encouragement to try not to be a perfectionist all the is extremely draining!

    1. So draining! Working on it slowly but shortly!