Wednesday, June 11, 2014

{Marriage...It's Awesome}

I can say with 100% certainty very few things. 

I can't say with 100% certainty that I'm an awesome friend/daughter/sister. 

I can't say with 100% certainty that I'm an incredible teacher. 

I definitely can't say with 100% certainty that I'm an excellent blogger. 

But I can say with 100% certainty that I have a freaking awesome marriage.

Are we perfect? Heck No! Have we been at it for a long time? No. But we feel insanely blessed to say that our marriage is thriving. 

We do not take marriage lightly, and we've learned a lot in the three short years together as husband and wife. 

Here are my top five favorite things I've learned during this journey.

Maybe I'll get Wendel to do this too...see what he comes up with. 

{Side note: because the majority of my readers are women...and I'm a woman...I'm writing this towards women...still hope you get something awesome out of this men!}

1. Don't Make Being Happy A Guessing Game

You married you spouse for a reason. And they married you for a reason. It's probably because you like each other...hopefully. But one reason you married each other is because you want to make him/her happy. LET HIM MAKE YOU HAPPY! Don't make him guess what will make you happy...tell him! I learned very early on that my sweet, amazing husband will not just off the top of his head plan dates. It's just not who he is. In the beginning I took it so personally. And if I continued to "play the game" I would probably end up resentful and bitter. Then I realized that NOTHING makes him happier than to make me happy. So when I'm wanting him to plan a special date...I'll ask him. A simple e-mail of "hey...will you plan us a date for Friday?" will work. And let me tell you what...Wendel always follows through. { have to follow through...k?}

Don't make it a guessing's not cute. 

2. Learn Your Spouses' Love Language

This totally changed how I view loving Wendel. When we first took the love language quiz, I was pretty embarrassed to say that my love language was receiving gifts. I now know that it's because my lovely, sweet, shy husband doesn't always verbalize his feelings...but when he brings me home a cupcake, or buys me something off my Pinterest board...that shows me that he has thought about me and loves me. Receiving gifts is NOT his love language. Like at all. I would plan the most incredible gifts for him {a gift every hour on his birthday...yup...that happened}and he received them graciously, but it wasn't filling his "love tank." He needs physical touch and words of affirmation. Hugging him when he gets home from work, and sending him encouraging e-mails is a perfect way for me to show him love. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE HOW THEY WANT TO BE LOVED. Not how you want to be loved. It will drastically change the dynamics of your relationship. Promise!

3. Be Intentional...For Real

Wendel and I help out with marriage counseling at our church, and I can't tell you how many times the word "intentional" comes up during talks. It is so important to be intentional in your marriage. Be intentional in loving your spouse. Be intentional in listening to your spouse. Be intentional about being intimate with your spouse. {bow chicka wow wow} Be intentional about showing love towards your spouse. Be intentional in affirming your spouse. Be intentional about praising your spouse...especially in public. One way we are being intentional in our marriage is at least one thing a year to work on our marriage. That could mean a marriage counseling class, reading a marriage book together, doing a marriage small group together. Something very intentional to work on our marriage together. Our thing is helping out with marriage counseling. We just do administrative things for now, but we've met incredible couples out of it and have learned a ton! Every time we take the course, we come at it from a tiny bit different view. And we always get something out of it! Intentionality {pretty sure that's not a word}...go do it people. And do it well!

4. Never Ever, Ever Speak Ill Of Your Spouse

It is so incredibly easy to fall victim to the "let's trash talk our spouses around the water cooler" crap. Sorry mom...but's crap. Don't do it! You don't want your spouse speaking ill of you to his coworkers/friends/family. So stay clear of the trap! Be positive, be praiseworthy, and be your spouses' biggest cheerleader. Now I will say this...don't be obnoxious. You know those people who are super boastful...don't be crazy. Be loving. 

5. Make Memories...And Make Them Awesome

Don't let the stress of planning special moments take over you. I love Pinterest...don't get me wrong, but it has given us all such high expectations...and it's no bueno. Memories doesn't have to mean taking a picnic in a hot air balloon over the ocean while watching fireworks in the background and sipping champagne from flutes he designed with an artist in Ireland. {1. Yes...let's do that. 2. See what crazy dreams Wendel has to live with!} Making memories can be picking up Wendy's frosties and fries and taking them to the park. It could mean getting lost in some woods together. It could be trying to build a fort together and failing so miserably that you end up almost accidentally suffocating the love of your life in the process....that's never happened to us. But making memories is EVERYTHING. 

And the blogger in me would like to add...flippin' document it! That could mean a picture, video, journal entry, drawing, a to scale model out of marshmallows. Whatever the heck comes to mind...but document it. We LOVE looking back and reminiscing the incredible memories. 

So I could go on and on with more and more of these. But I'll stop for now. Thank goodness, right?

Marriage is awesome people...if you're in at it. If you want to be in one...pray for it. If your scared of these words and find hope.

Happy Wednesday Friends!


  1. This made me want to be a better wife!! Sometimes life can swallow me up and I get lost in the shuffle, thanks for reminding me to slow down and to try to be better for my husband.

    1. It's so easy to get into a normal's time we do something different, right? Good luck!

  2. So encouraging, Lelia! Thanks so much for these wonderful reminders!