{Memorial Day}

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! 

This weekend means the start of pool parties, grill outs, fires in the fire pit, and the start of our very busy summer! 

Like 6 weekends in a row out of town busy! 

It's all fun stuff though, and we get to see a lot of the people we love...so I'm okay with it! 

Here's a little Memorial Day Inspiration for ya. 

Oh and this balloon will make many an appearance...we got it for a shoot last weekend and it's still trucking...so I'm using it whenever possible because it's flippin' awesome! 

Shorts: Loft {old, similar}

Tshirt: Loft

Infinity Scarf: Truck Shop

Shoes: Converse 

Watch: Fossil

Sunnies: Ray Ban

White Peplum: JCrew Warehouse 

Polka Dot Demin: JCrew Factory {old}

Shoes: Sperry{so comfy!}

Clutch: DSW

Sunnies: Ray Ban

Watch: Fossil

Necklace: Target {old}

Have a fabulous and safe weekend! 

{Thank You}

Alex and I just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of the love, support, and encouragement you sent our way about our post on our journey with infertility. 

We feel so incredibly loved by each and every one of you, and are amazed by the outstanding community we have surrounding us! 

We will absolutely be updating along the way! We have an appointment with an infertility doctor at the end of May, so we will update when we find out more information. 

Like I said, some things will be kept between us and our families, but we want to be transparent and real about this journey we are on. 

So many people hide their struggles, but if one person can draw strength or encouragement from our story...then it's worth it to us!

If you have questions or are going through infertility and want someone to talk to, cry to, yell at, or get advise from, please don't hesitate to e-mail me at lifeonthehomesteadblog@gmail.com

In the mean time, we've still got lots of house projects to work on {hello tiling project that will be underway soon}, lots of outfits to shoot, an upcoming third {whaaaaa} wedding anniversary to celebrate, a blogiversary to plan {can we say giveaway?}, and lots of traveling this summer to enjoy! 

We hope you'll follow along on this journey, so if you're not already following along via Bloglovin, Facebook or Instagram...please please do that! 

Happy Hump Day my friends! 

{Infertility...}

Infertility...such an awful word.

Before I dive in, it's been on my heart for quite some time to just put it all out there.

I mean, I have a blog...part of what I do is over-share my life.

I'm giving you an out. If you're not interested in this part of our lives it's totally fine!

Just click the 'x' and go along your merry way. 

Oh good...you kept reading...I knew I liked you.

Here we go...

Alex and I have been trying for almost a year to have a baby...and obviously...it isn't going well. 

It's been the hardest, saddest, most heart wrenching time in our lives.

At least so far in our lives. 

We have never felt more hopeless, angry, out of control, frustrated, or "alone" in my life. 

The silver lining of the pain, is having Wendel by my side. I have never been more proud to be his wife. He has been the rock and has {quite literally} held our little family of two together. 

It's been a year of ups and downs.

My body wants to be pregnant so badly, that it's making my body think it's pregnant.

So of course my body doesn't need to be pregnant...

Because my body already is pregnant, right? 

Nope...it's not...sorry to let you down body.

There have been months when I was sure I was pregnant...and others where I could just tell I wasn't. 

We've sat through so many conversations with friends sharing their good news. Some friends have told us in the most caring and thoughtful of ways. Some friends have inadvertently pulled the rug from underneath of us and punching us in the stomach in the worst of ways. Fun stuff, right? We're thrilled to pieces for everyone of them...truly! Babies are my favorite topic! It just doesn't get any easier to sit back and pretend we're all good. 

All I want is to have that moment where Alex comes home from work, and I'm holding a positive pregnancy test. All I want to do it to share pregnancy with my friends. All I want to do is tell our family, and share the joy and excitement with them. All I want is to hold my belly and know that something miraculous is happening. All I want is to lay in bed with Alex in silence, watching him touch my belly and talk to our little bit.

Okay let's be honest...

All I want is to eat lots of chocolate and not feel guilty...we needed a little humor, right?

All I really want is to be growing a miracle.

I truly felt that I would be celebrating this Mother's Day as a mom. Or at least a mom-to-be. If we had gotten pregnant when we wanted to, we'd be holding a sweet precious baby right now.

I actually remember driving home from the grocery store one evening, and telling Wendel, "a year from now, we could have a baby!" And then a few second later I said "or a year from now we could be in the midst of a super sad time of our lives." It's almost like I knew...I had a feeling. 

I'm embarrassed to say, I've also never felt so far away from God. Alex and I did everything "by the books" We are both Christians...always have been...always will be. We grew up in church. We saved ourselves for marriage {7 years might I add...Wendel is a saint}, we have saved our money to prepare for a baby, we own our home and have two empty rooms just waiting to baby-ify, we have prayed for this baby and have loved this baby...the baby that we just can't seem to make. 

My heart aches for Alex. My sweet, patient husband. He feels just as much pain as I do...and that's probably the hardest thing for me. I hate seeing him let down...blaming himself. 

I've honestly taken so many pregnancy tests, that I think I now have a fear of them. I'll probably be 10 weeks pregnant before I finally get the guts to take a test.

By the way...it's a really awkward thing to think about.

The fact that we pee on a stick, and watch it like a magic 8 ball...and then you're either excited, scared, sad, mad...a little bit of everything?

I feel confident that we will have a baby one day. I know God designed me to be a mom. I know there is a plan.

And we really can't wait to be on the other side of this...thinking "I wouldn't wish that time of our lives on our worst enemies"

We've taken some tests and have officially been sent to an infertility doctor.

I still feel too young to be going to an infertility doctor...but alas...here we go!

While we're willing to share snippets of our story, some things need to be left private...so just know that some things will be left unsaid.

So there it is. The thing I've been hinting at for a long long time. The lump in my throat.

Can't wait until I get to hit publish on that "We're Pregnant" post...but until then...we're hanging in there!

While we feel so much pain and frustration, we feel extremely at peace! We feel very confident that I will carry our baby. We know that His timing is beyond perfect, and that this pain is meant to tell a pretty amazing story!

It gives me chills to think about, but so many of you have already been praying for us. It just blows my mind that this baby is already so loved...and he/she hasn't even been conceived yet.

We want to say thank you to everyone who has been supportive, praying, and offering tidbits of information!

If you have stories to tell, or suggestions please please please e-mail me!!

lifeonthehomesteadblog@gmail.com

I'd love to be encouraged by your words of wisdom!

Thanks for reading and loving on us!

And Little Bit...we want you so bad...but we're willing to wait! 

{Happy Mother's Day!}

Just wanted to take a moment to show some internet gratitude to the incredible moms in Wendel and my lives!

We have been so blessed to be surrounded by strong, hard working, inspiring women! 

We're so thankful for each of you! 

This is my sister-in-law, Jodi, my sister, Laura, and my mom, Emma!  

And my sweet as sweet can be mother-in-law, Faye

Thank you for being so wonderful and building into us to create the people we are today! 

We love you!

Happy Mother's Day!

{Friday Five: Outside Inspiration}

Hey Friends! Happy Friday! 

I hope your week has been great. It's been super warm here, so we started the process of getting the pool all ready for the season last night. Now it's just time to get the chemicals all evened out, and we'll be ready to go! 

So I thought it would be fun to share some of my outdoor entertaining/decorating inspiration for this season. Enjoy! 

1. Outdoor Movies

We have a projector, so we have done a few movies outside, but this year I'm hoping to get the whole setting up process down to a science so it's not such an ordeal. Hopefully it will look this cute too! 

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2. Giant Jenga

Wendel's parents actually crossed this off our list. They gave us a giant Jenga set similar to this for his birthday this year, so we can't wait to bust that out and have some fun with it! 

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3. Fancy Cooler

Yes...a fancy cooler. We usually use a galvanized tub for drinks around the pool, but this would be awesome! We have seen them at Home Goods for around $130, so we're going to price it out and see if it's less expensive to make it, or just buy one! 

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4. Homemade TeePee

I'm still drooling over making a teepee...I know it's ridiculous...but I just think they're so darn cute! 

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5. Floral Crowns

This has nothing to do with anything really...but when you're riding a horse on the beach, the only obvious thing to bring with you is a floral crown...right? All joking aside, she's gorgeous and I adore her style!

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Have a great weekend! 

{So Much Painting...Our April Project}

Well...we painted our bookcases...and it was quite the job! 

This was a pretty long time coming. 

When we bought this system three years ago, I wanted to white version, but the white version for some reason was more expensive {at the time the system was like $800 and the white was $870} and being the cheap newlyweds that we were, we bought the dark version. Bad idea! 

I immediately regretted not getting the white version, but sucked it up. 

Finally, three years later, I talked myself into the huge task of painting these suckers, and I am insanely thrilled with how they turned out! 

This is how they looked a few months ago during Christmas! 

Now painting Ikea furniture is tricky, because it's laminate and paint doesn't stick well to laminate. 

So this is the trick right here...Zinsser shellac primer. 

It's super thin, dries fast, and sticks to pretty much everything!  

So for a solid two weeks our garage looked like this! 

Oh did I forget to mention...I had to sand and clean all of this too? 

Oh...yeah...that's why it took so flippin' long! 

After sanding everything and then wiping it down, I finally got to start painting. 

I ended up doing two coats of the primer on everything {it dried so fast that I just did it in one night, painted everything then went over everything again}...

Then we did two coats of Valspar White in a Semi Gloss

THEN we did two coats of polyurethane to seal everything in! 

Yes...the answer to your question is yes...it took a lot of work! 

But it was so very worth it! 

We also got a new "coffee table"...it's actually a storage ottoman from Ballard Designs and I love it so much! 

It was a definite investment piece, but we're super happy with it! 

Now we're actually looking into purchasing doors/drawers for these {like this}...not sure if we can do that after the fact, but I guess we'll find out soon! 

We have saved all of our fortunes from sushi/Chinese restaurants and it is beyond hilarious to look back and read them! So many incredible memories over the past 9.5 years!  

This rose...Wendel gave it to me an anniversary early in our dating years...always will be a special thing in our home. 

This was apart of our 2014 New Year's Resolution challenge to complete one big project a month! 

Here's our January Project

Here's our February/March Project

And now on to the next project...tiling the bar downstairs...fingers crossed it turns out well! 

{Slacker McSlackerson}

Hey Friends!

My name is Slacker McSlakerson...and I forgot to post on Friday AND Monday!

This weekend was completely nuts and I went to bed at 8:30 Sunday night...real life ya'll!

The biggest "woo hoo" of this past weekend was that Wendel ran his second marathon!

He ran The Flying Pig in 2012, but didn't get to run it in 2013 because of some knee troubles from our wreck just weeks after his first marathon.

He's always been a runner, so he was super excited to run another!

I, for one, think he's nuts...but I'm always a proud wife and try to support him as much as I can!

Here we are at 5:45 am....ya'll...5:45 am sucks! Just sayin'...

Here's our marathon "pro" tip...a big obnoxious balloon. 

It helps your runner find you in all of the crazy crowds! 

{our balloon just happened to start deflating 10 minutes after we bought it...so frustrating! But it  did it's job and then at mile 18 gave up and went up to be in heaven} 

My sweet father-in-law who was in charge of the balloon...I usually had a banana and ibuprofen in hand just in case Wendel needed it as he ran past us.  

And as you can see...that darn balloon was barely hanging on! 

Yes...my husband is the one who looks like he's just peachy while running a marathon...and eating a banana....at the same time.

Got to hang out with Mr. Big Boy himself while waiting for Wendel at mile 18! 

And here he is about to cross the finish line...best picture I could snap while screaming my head off and making sure that he in fact wasn't going to die.

So proud of this man of mine! 

Don't mind my tacky cell phone in pocket weirdness...dumb phone and it's attachment abilities! 

 

I'm so thankful to have these people follow Wendel alongside of me. His parents are just the most supportive people, and I love being around them so that's a bonus!

To be honest, I'm always pretty nervous the entire time, so having them drive me around to see him is pretty much the biggest blessing ever! They navigate and keep my mind off the fact that people have died running marathons...

It was a gorgeous day, and we were able to spend time with friends and family afterwards at our house! 

So that was about 10% of our weekend...we have a pretty big change in our house to share on Wednesday which just happened to involve a booty load of painting all last week! 

Just need to do some more styling then snap some photos and we'll be ready to go! 

Have a fabulous Tuesday!