{Perfection...}

Happy Friday! 

I have kind of a downer post for you today...sorry...

I thought about maybe writing this post and never publishing it, but then I figured that if I struggle with this, then maybe some of you struggle with it. 

So here it goes! 

Perfectionism...{shiver}...yup...that word. 

I know a lot of people probably say they are "perfectionists" like it's a personality trait. And a lot of people will say that being a perfectionist is a good thing. You care about detail, work super hard, and won't stop 'till it's right.  

Now don't get me wrong...it's a great thing to want to try your best. 

But no...perfectionism is not a good thing. 

 I'm here to be honest....this is my blog where I share my thoughts, interests, and real life stuff...so I'm going to be really honest.

I'm a perfectionist, and it's become somewhat debilitating.

Let me set you up with a perfect example...

A few nights ago Wendel and I had nothing to do so we were going to have a night to "get stuff done"

Wendel had some projects to work on, and I have loads of fun ideas that I've wanted to work on. 

Wendel goes downstairs to work on his projects, and I pretty much have a full blown panic attack. 

I won't get into all of the details, but let's just say that I have an incredibly loving husband who supports me when I'm down and encourages me to move forward. 

After a lot of talking, I realized something very prolific about myself. 

I have serious problems starting projects if I know they won't turn out perfectly. 

I can't even start them! 

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do a project, but because I know it won't turn out perfectly, I totally scrap it. 

Fashion posts have really helped with this though, because who are we kidding? When have we ever taken perfect pictures of ourselves. I am forced to look past the imperfections and hit publish. 

I'm a perfectionist about our house- if it's not perfectly clean at all times my skin is crawling. 

I'm a perfectionist about working out- if I miss one work out a week I feel like I've failed. 

I'm a perfectionist about my diet- if I eat one wrong thing I've totally failed. 

I'm a perfectionist about my work- if my lessons didn't go perfectly I am the worst teacher. 

I'm a perfectionist about my blog posts- if my pictures aren't perfect, and everything isn't just in it's perfect little place I won't publish it. 

I'm a perfectionist about being a wife- if I haven't planned fun dates, cooked amazing meals, and been a sexy, hot wife {yup...I went there}then I have totally let down Wendel. 

I'm a perfectionist about my appearance- you know the saying if you look good you feel good...yup...very very true for this girl

I'm even a perfectionist about my family- if there is one tiny problem going on with one of my siblings then I dwell on it until the problem is gone. 

Ya'll...it's draining. 

And the last thing I want to do it pretend that I'm perfect on this blog. Ya'll our life is messy at times. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's messy. 

So now that ya'll know wayyy more than you ever wanted to know about me :) I'm here to make a proclamation...

I am not going to let perfectionism rule my life anymore...

Well I'm going to try...because I'm not perfect right :) 

I have to give myself a break and know that I am human. 

No clue at all how to achieve this...but I'm going to work on it! 

I really hope I'm not preaching to the choir, because I would hate it everyone struggled with this...but I hope that if you do, you will join me in striving for change. 

And with all of that...I'm going to go and start a project that I can imagine will not turn out as perfectly as I have in my head...I'll keep you posted :)